Wednesday, January 11, 2012

How To Read Minds....


The Warren William way!



First and most crucial is...you MUST wear a bejeweled turban! Without it, no one will believe you have psychic powers!



Second, you MUST learn how to gaze intently into the magic crystal!


Third, you'll need to invest in a small metal urn with a trap door at the bottom!


You'll need the help of a trusted assistant to collect little slips of paper from your audience and drop them into the magic urn! These slips of paper have personal info written on them! They are vital because the psychic energies that flow from them are what you must tune into in order to be a successful mind reader!


Putting ones hands at the side of the required bejeweled turban will help focus your psychic powers! It will also help you to....


...better hear your other trusted assistant waiting under the stage as he speaks into the microphone and reads off whats written on the slips of paper that tumbled down through the trap door on your magic urn! If Allen Jenkins is unavailable (dont cry Ginger!) other good choices would be Frank McHugh, Guy Kibbee or Lyle Talbot, just make sure they lay off the sauce until after showtime!


With great power comes great responsibility! You must learn to focus while dolling out personal advice to your audience members, remember they are entrusting you with their lives!


But no matter how strong your powers and abilites may be, every once in a while you will have an unhappy customer! Hopefully it wont be Humphrey Bogart's wife like it was for poor Warren!


With enough practice and good word of mouth you may progress to dispensing your wisdom to rich society ladies who are intent on knowing who their husbands are running around with!


It will be a tremendous help if your trusted assistant Allen Jenkins is able to procure a job as chaufeur to one of these high society couples!...not only will he be privvy to inside information about his employers that is vital to your psychic powers but he will also be able to gather info from other chaffeurs!


But again, none of this will matter if you dont wear the Turban!!!!



*All screencaps are from WB 1933 production of "The Mind Reader" starring Warren William, Allen Jenkins, Constance Cummings and Mayo Methot and directed by the great Roy Del Ruth.



5 comments:

Mr. Door Tree said...

Now see here...Smash or be Smashed! Awesome post Artman...I need to see this film!

Ginger Ingenue said...

In my experience, Allen Jenkins usually IS available...even if it's just in voice-form on Top Cat.

My daughter used to watch it, and I'd say, "See that cop? He's the same guy who helped Bogie in DEAD END!"

She may be the only seven year old on Earth who knew what the hell I was talking about. ;)

...

Lovely Bejeweled Turban, by the way. May I borrow it some time for my floor show??

Ha.

If you CAN read minds, what am I thinking about RIGHT now??

I'll give you a hint: it involves a pair of black socks.

Artman2112 said...

yes Mr Tree you most certainly do need to see it, you will love it!

haha Ginger you of all people would know of Allen Jenkins' availability so i defer to your knowledge! i think the turban will go perfectly with your red swimsuit and accordian!

haha thanks for the hint but since i was wearing my turban while i read this, i already knew it!

Raquelle said...

How did I miss this post?! Excellent. I must watch this and I must make my own bejeweled turban!

Artman2112 said...

personally, i think you would look quite chic in a bejeweled Turban Quelle!